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bullying survivor by ToxicHaru bullying survivor by ToxicHaru
:bulletpurple: I AM A BULLYING SURVIVOR :bulletpurple:

Today is spirit day. Can you hear me a bit?

How was/is your school time? Well, I'm 25 years old today, it shouldn't care, 'cause I don't even meet those ppl anymore. But I will never forget.
8 years in my life I was under bullying. I joined a new school, a better one, I had to make an exam to enter. My mom was so happy, and I was too, cause I was going to a better school. But the other children just didn't like me. Until today, I don't know why. They started playing tricks and asking awful questions. After a few months, nobody got even close to me. Talk to me or being kind to me meant you were like me and should be avoided too. I never was invited to anythig. Nobody wanted to make homeworks with me, or even sit near me. Only talk to me to play a trick.
I got alone. No friends, nothing even close to it. I could only talk to teachers. My mother said "don't pay attention, you're there for study, not for friends. Just forget it and they will go away" . But they never went away.
They said things like "you are dead", "why do you still come here?" and all. If I walked in some direction, everybody just walked away.

Do you think it doesn't hurt? Well, when a lot of ppl always say you that you're pretty... you believe it, don't you? And when a lot of ppl is always saying that you're garbage...?

After 8 years, I changed. For High school, I went to another place. At my firsta day there, I thought it would be just the same, so I did as I used to: dressed myself in a way not to stand out, in jeans and black, stood away from everybody. When 3 girls invited me for lunch... I thought it was a trick. I refused. They thought I was weird.
Day by day, my paranoia against ppl slowly fell... because they were not like in the other school. It was SO weird for me that I just didn't no how to deal. I was so afraid of contacting ppl and suffer that I used to act lika a wild animal.

And when they planned to watch a movie and have a party... they invited me. I didn't want to refuse, but I didn't know how to answer. And I cried.

I'm cool now. I'm free of it, finally. I can deal with my past, thanks for the changes at my High School, I'm a better and stronger person.

But how about those ones that aren't lucky or strong? The ones who died... kill themselves... the ones who still suffer with it. It's serious, not a child joke. It leaves scars, the worse kind of scars: you can't see it.
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:iconstalagmitestar:
Stalagmitestar Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  New member Hobbyist Digital Artist
I am too. I used to want to die, because my "friends" slap me. It's still happening, but it's getting better. :)
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:icontoxicharu:
ToxicHaru Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
If they slap you, they are not your friends. You're not alone, dear.
Glad it's getting better. Be strong! :heart:
Reply
:iconstalagmitestar:
Stalagmitestar Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2014  New member Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks ^^
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:iconlightbleueyes:
lightbleueyes Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014  Student General Artist
I am a bullying survivor! :)
Reply
:icontoxicharu:
ToxicHaru Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Good! :highfive: You seem to be good today, so keep the strenght and go on! :w00t:
Life is amazing :heart:
Reply
:iconlightbleueyes:
lightbleueyes Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014  Student General Artist
Thank you so much for your encouragement! :) :hug: 

Indeed~:heart:
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:icontoxicharu:
ToxicHaru Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
welcome :highfive: 
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:iconravian2:
Ravian2 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2014
I too was treat like scum in 5th and 6th grade in elementary school in Korea
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:icontoxicharu:
ToxicHaru Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Sad. And how are you now? Are you ok?
Reply
:iconravian2:
Ravian2 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2014
Fine but they treated me like I was sort of a scum because They thought I had an uglier face than others, but when I look in the mirror I look no difference than others. At 5th grade I warned my best friend if she be friendly with me, she too will be betrayed. She said That she would still be my friend. But at 6th grade when she had new friends,she betrayed me. When I mentioned about her promise, she said "why should I be worried about your problems? I'm too busy with my problems"I wanted to kill everyone of them but I moved to America and back to Korea but my new middle school friends still use my face as an insult. Like saying ' hey Jeiyee is your girlfriend!!' I want to kill them KILL THEM ALL
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